First off, I want to tell everyone that I have officially hit the half way point in my quest to play golf in all 50 states. My dad and I just finished playing state number 25, Montana! Here is a picture of me at the golf course. It was kind of an overcast day but I still shot another 72 today so I am extremely happy! I am going to be playing state number 26 tomorrow here in North Dakota so it will be great to know I am getting closer and closer to my goal!Now onto the reason for my title of this post. With long road trips like this with six hours of driving between point A and point B, you have a lot of time to think about your life and how it has gone so far. Don't get me wrong, my life has been great. God has blessed me with some many people in my life helping me get closer to becoming the man God wants me to be. He has blessed me with amazing family that will let you know that they love the blog you are writing or anything else in your life where they think you have excelled and they are proud of you. The only thing that is upsetting is even with amazing friends and family, you still do things that become burdens in your life.
Burdens can develop in your life even when you think everything is going great in your life. I know that is true in my life and it sucks to think about these burdens and how I let them develop. My biggest burdens have been my relationships with girls and with friends. I have had great relationships with girls, but there has been one that has stuck out the most to me. God blessed me with the opportunity to get to know this person better and to care for this person deeply. But when I think of how it ended, I tell myself that I am the biggest idiot in the world. All because of selfishness, I ruined this relationship and I think back about it wanting to have a second chance to show her that person back then is not me. NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY, YOU CAN'T GET THE BURDENS OUT OF YOUR LIFE! The only thing you can do is accept it and learn from it.
I have had a kick recently in trying to mature in my relationship with not only God, but with my relationships with girls and friends. The thing with maturity is that you have to really learn forgiveness and apply it to new and old relationships. I have had relationships with friends that have gone sour, even if it is from a complete misunderstanding like a text message read out of context or a conversation with someone that they just don't want to hear. It is hard to forgive yourself someone when it's your fault the relationship went south. This ties in with the relationship I was talking about earlier.
But even with the burden of self destruction of relationships, I need to forgive myself to let me move on from this. I am glad that I can build up the strength to do this through Jesus Christ. He is my rock, my foundation of life and with him behind me, I can break this. Even if this means that I don't get a second chance to prove to these people I have hurt that I am a different man than I was when we were together, I can still pray that forgiveness will come through them and we can still be friends.
"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." - Matthew 11:28
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